I decided to fire up Alpha House on Netflix looking for a terrible movie to pass a little bit of time. With the majority of these types of films, there are certain expectations going into it: a couple of laughs, some epic party scenes, and some customary nudity. Alpha House provides one of these: the nudity. Aside from that, this is perhaps one of the worst films ever.

It exceeded all my expectations of being a terrible movie, and what it is instead is an incredibly misogynistic, terribly written, amateurly directed, and awfully acted movie.

alpha2I genuinely feel bad for the actors that signed up for this film. They are no-names that are trying to make their way in the tough business of Hollywood, but starring in this drivel will do nothing for their careers. The males, who are trying to adapt to having to share their frat house with a sorority, are all weak caricatures that fail even at creating the most cookie-cutter of characters. The poor girls, who were seemingly cast for their cup size instead of acting ability, engage in demeaning scene after demeaning scene, hyper-sexualizing themselves for a series of unfunny scenes. They engage in stereotypical activities that are not only demeaning to women, but to all viewers of this film.

Yes, there is plenty of nudity in Alpha House. But there is a part of you that just feels sad for the poor girls who were willing to take their tops off time and again.

Plot wise, there is actually nothing here. The concept is ridiculous from the start, and there are holes here that you could drive a truck through. There are some other characters involved, such as the crusty old dean that appears in every film of this type.

If you are feeling like watching something stupid, there are a ton of better options out there. Avoid Alpha House. Go watch something else, like Road TripAmerican Pie: The Naked Mile, or Fired Up. These are all dumb films, but they are all miles better that Alpha House. Avoid this one at all costs.

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