Truly Terrible: A Good Day To Die Hard

dieWho isn’t a fan of theĀ Die Hard movies? The first two gave us gratuitous bloodshed and fun. The surprising third one gave us a fun puzzle movie, and the fourth, while cheesy and ridiculous, gave us non-stop action and some pretty funny moments between Bruce Willis and Justin Long.

A Good Day To Die Hard, the fifth installment in the series, gave us none of those things, and it was truly an awful movie.

die2First, I’ll mention the good parts. The opening car chase scene was insane and over-the-top, but there was some good destruction. The evil Russian girl is very attractive. And the music in the movie was strong and suspenseful.

And that is it. Everything else about this movie was simply awful, and hopefully represents the death rattle in this series that had become so beloved by so many people (I have just read that they are planning to make Die Hard 6, so there goes that idea). Since there were so many things wrong with this flick, I will give them the quick hit treatment, as to not prolong the suffering.

  • Bruce Willis got old. And looks bad.
  • Bruce Willis was pretty much reduced to a sidekick in the movie. Unfortunately, his son, the hero, is awful.
  • Terrible acting, highlighted by how bad the son was (Jai Courtney was deplorable).
  • Insincere and forced relationship storyline between father and son (and did I miss this from the previous movies, but since when does John have a son?).
  • There is no real plot. Something about people trying to get plutonium out of Chernobyl.
  • Is it really safe to be wandering around Chernobyl with no radiation suit?
  • It is set in Russia. It doesn’t fit for this movie and ruins the idea of John McLane as an American hero.
  • Who is actually the villain in this movie?
  • The editing was terrible and seemed thrown together, especially during the action scenes.
  • There was not a single funny line in the film. Usually you can expect a couple of good one-liners in this series. None to be seen here.
  • Some pretty cheesy CG at the climactic helicopter scene of Willis.
  • It runs at about an hour and a half. I would have been pissed if I had paid to see that in the theatre.
  • McLane doesn’t seem to get hurt. Ever. He used to be loved because he was an everyman hero. Now he is practically indestructible. And it ruins his character.

I could probably go on. This movie deserves its place among Top 10 lists of the years worst films. I’m just going to go ahead and forget that this installment even exists, and enjoy theĀ Die Hard series as a group of four films.